My Coffee Order Broke a Barista's Confident Assumption

Black coffee drinker or latte girl vibes?

A while back, after dropping my son off at a birthday party in town, a friend and I embraced our two hours child-free and headed straight for a coffee and a catch up. I had never been to this particular coffee place before. I ordered first. A black americano, my preferred and regular way of drinking coffee. It’d either be that or herbal tea – peppermint if we’re talking averages. Not that I go for coffee often! Most of the time I don't see the value in paying £4–5 for a hot drink for the sake of it, unless the experience itself adds something to my day. But that's a debate for another time!

In response to my drink order, the barista was so genuinely shocked that his face didn't even try to hide it. Not just a little raised eyebrow or confused look. He questioned me: "Are you sure?" with a scrunched-up expression. I’m sure the words left his mouth before his social filter caught up.

“You don’t look like a black americano drinker, you look like a latte girl”

When he brought our drinks over, I asked politely, “why were you so surprised by my order?” My immediate assumption was because he probably had a real dislike for black coffee. But it seemed he had also very quickly made his own assumptions about me and my preferences. He came back with "You don't look like a black americano drinker at all". Curiously, I probed about what a black americano drinker is supposed to look like. And, according to him, it's middle-aged, serious businessmen in suits, and I actually look like a latte girl which is why he was shocked.

I should say that this whole interaction was very friendly and smiley, and there was no offence intended or taken. He was surprised, I was surprised by his reaction, we had a discussion, and it left me with a new awareness of a stereotype I hadn’t realised was there. We all have them. Unconscious bias exists in all of us. The difference is really in individual self-awareness, and how willing we are to reflect on our own attitudes and behaviours and staying open to understanding other people’s perspectives.

It was quite interesting to learn how a stranger had put me in his own mental box within 30 seconds of me walking up to the counter. It seemed purely based on how I looked that day – casual, no makeup, hair loose, a pink top and jeans – and his own schemas about coffee drinkers.

After this interesting interaction, I briefly looked into different coffee drinker profiles (of course I did😂). And, it’s true, there seems to be a pattern. The black americano coffee drinker is more likely to be a gen x or older millennial, male, corporate professional. Whereas the latte drinker is likely to be younger, female and most likely of the coffee drinkers to order oat milk and a syrup with their coffee. Who knew!

The stereotypes don’t stop there.  According to social media, the coffee you order subtly ties in with your fashion sense, work ethic and mindset. But I’ll let you have a look for yourself if you want to know what your coffee order supposedly says about you.

I’m glad I interrupted his perception, just for a moment.

I’m glad I challenged his assumption in the moment. Not in a dramatic or confrontational way, just by being curious and not letting it go unspoken. I’m glad I interrupted his perception, just for a moment, of who a black americano drinker is supposed to be.

As someone who delivers training around individuality, equality, diversity and dignity, this fleeting interaction was quite insightful, and a reminder of how quickly we can place people into boxes without meaning to. In care and support settings, that can show up in subtle ways. We start to assume what someone wants and needs based on first impressions or past experience or even what opinions others have shared about them, rather than asking or checking in with the person in front of us. This pulls us away from person-centred care, not towards it.

The funny thing is, I actually was a latte girl years ago, so maybe my image just hasn’t caught up yet! Another reminder: needs and preferences change.

Reflections for readers:

• When was the last time a stranger's assumption about you completely missed the mark?

• When was the last time your first impression of someone completely missed the mark?

• How often do we let first impressions dictate how we support or interact with people in our professional lives?

• Are you comfortable not matching people's assumptions about you?

• What does your hot drink order supposedly say about you?